Menu:

• Info Career Trends Home

• Subscription Info

• Current Issue

• Archives

• Upcoming Themes

• Contributor Guidelines

• Submit a Book for Review

• Rate Card

Balance between career and home life doesn't tend to occur naturally. Creating a balanced life requires setting strong priorities, considering future goals, and having an honest conversation with yourself about where you draw the strength to sustain the energy for your commitments. Learning to evaluate the professional and personal opportunities that enter your life is an important part of creating a healthy and happy life, and learning to say "no" to activities outside of your priorities is a crucial component of personal and professional success.

For the first five years of my career, I said "yes" to every opportunity that landed on my doorstep. I served on committees, taught extra classes, wrote articles for newsletters and journals, participated in library related research projects, traveled to conferences, and attended nearly every job-related library training course that came along. I looked at every opportunity as a chance to learn something new and meaningful, and saw every new commitment as a foothold in my library career. By committing to all of these experiences, I made important career connections with librarians from around the country, learned about the work performed in all different types of libraries, and gained new and valuable skills. All of these varied experiences were stepping stones to my current job and to who I am today.

Six or seven years in, though, I began to feel overwhelmed by the number of activities to which I was committed. As I began to evaluate my life at work and at home, I realized I was feeling unhappy and disconnected. I was spending my best and most creative energy on job related activities, leaving little time or energy to explore other things in my life that I enjoyed, but that were unrelated to librarianship. I realized I could no longer take advantage of every professional activity in which I was interested, but had to learn to evaluate each opportunity and say "no" to those that failed to fit into my priorities.

Saying "no" has not always been easy. At first, telling people I could not participate in committees, activities, and events was very difficult. I saw value in every opportunity, and knew I would enjoy contributing to each organization. As soon as I started saying "no," though, I had the free time to ask some important questions:

• What things give me energy, and what things take away my energy?
• If I didn't have to work to earn money, what would I spend my time doing?
• What things had been most important in the past, before life became so busy?
• What hobbies and skills do I want to develop?

Answering these questions helped me gain a new balance in my life and explore new areas of interest. Since beginning my new, more balanced life, I have coauthored a book about restaurants in my home state, raised over $2000 and trained for a 39.3 mile breast cancer walk, traveled, and spent quality time with friends - and I have even enjoyed holidays without feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities. I accomplished all of these seemingly daunting tasks and events while working full-time and taking on additional, measured responsibilities at work and in professional organizations.

When I am asked to take on new responsibilities at work, in professional organizations, or in any of the newly developed areas of my life, I now take the time to consider the ramifications of a commitment. The following list has helped my thought process.

When asked to take on a new responsibility:

• Ask for time to consider your decision; do not immediately say "yes" or "no."
• Ask for a written description outlining the formal responsibilities associated with the position or opportunity.

Once you have clarified the task's responsibilities, the following questions may guide you in making your final decision.

• What things will you enjoy about the new opportunity, and what will be unenjoyable?
• What do you hope to gain from this new activity?
• Are there any ramifications of declining this responsibility? If so, what are they?
• What specific responsibilities are associated with this opportunity? It is important to dig beyond the big "to do" items and think about the small responsibilities that will take up your time.
• What will be the real time investment required for this activity? How much time will you need to commit to thinking, planning, preparing, presenting, and communicating?
• Will this activity greatly enhance your career opportunities? In what way? Are these potential enhancements critical to your career?
• Will you enjoy partnering with the other people serving in the organization?
• In five years, can you imagine this activity changing the direction of your career?
• Are you willing to sacrifice another interest in your life in order to become involved in this new experience? If so, what will you give up?
• Can you anticipate changes in the organization to which you are agreeing to serve? How might these changes impact the role to which you are agreeing to serve?
• Do you know other people involved in this organization or activity? Can they offer additional insight?

Saying "no" is not always easy. Declining some opportunities and accepting others requires critical thinking, calculated evaluation, and candid conversations with yourself, your family, and those with whom you will be working.

In the midst of your decision-making process you may encounter the fear that you are unknowingly declining the "opportunity of a lifetime." At some point in your career, however, learning to turn down opportunities will become imperative. Committing to an activity that you are unable to fulfill may ultimately damage your professional integrity.

Leading a balanced life requires saying "no" to some opportunities, but saying "no" will help highlight your true priorities. With these clearly defined priorities, rejecting some responsibilities and accepting others becomes easier and easier.

Valerie Nye is Head of Public Services at the College of Santa Fe and coauthor of Breakfast Santa Fe Style: A Guide to Fun, Funky, and Family Friendly Restaurants. She serves on the New Mexico Library Association and Mountain Plains Library Association boards and is fundraising and training to walk this summer (for the second time) in the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in Denver.